1．Whosoever shall not fall by the sword or by famine, shall fall by pestilence so why bother shaving?
你逃得过刀剑饥荒，也逃不过瘟疫，所以干吗要劳神刮什么胡子？
2．Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
人为什么要杀生？他为了食物而杀生，而且不仅仅是食物：很多情况下还得有饮料。
3．The wicked at heart probably know something.
心地邪恶的人很可能懂些东西。
4．Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
金钱比贫穷要好，即使仅为了财务方面的原因。
5．When you are a coward, certain things come easy.
你如果是个懦夫，就容易去做某些事。
6．I’d rather do almost anything else than die.
我宁愿做别的几乎任何事情，也不愿意死。
7．I don’t believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
我不相信有来生，不过我还是随身带一套换洗内衣。
8．Losers are much more interesting.
失败者更有趣得多。
9．We all need a nest egg to fall back on, but not while wearing a good suit.
我们都需要有个留窝蛋当退路，但不是在穿着一身好套装的时候。
10．Take the case of the ant and the grass hopper: The grasshopper played all summer, while the ant worked and saved. When winter came, the grasshopper had nothing, but the ant complained of chest pains.
以蚂蚁和蚱蜢为例：蚱蜢整个夏天都在嬉戏，蚂蚁则工作并储存食物。到了冬天，蚱蜢一无所有，可是蚂蚁却喊胸口疼。
11. Is is better to be loved or the loved one? Neither, if your cholesterol is over six hundred.
爱人和被人爱哪样更好？都不好，如果你的胆固醇值超过六百的话。